Friendships in Your Thirties

I came across this post several months ago and stored it in my mental filing cabinet to review later.  Of course I forgot about it.  I'm raising three kids with different needs so I rarely get time to myself to read and reflect.  But a few weeks ago I realized that my friend circles are limited.  I'm mostly friends with the parents of my kids' friends.  I have work friends, too.  And church friends.  And old friends that I hardly ever see anymore.

Friendships changed when I had kids, and I expected that.  As a mother, I devote so much of my time to keeping my kids alive and that means other things have fallen by the wayside.  This is understandable, but it doesn't make it any less depressing.

And let's not forget how Facebook makes us feel inadequate.  When you see all the pictures and posts about all the fun your friends are having with other friends - and without you - you start to wonder why you aren't included.  What's wrong with me, you might wonder.  And then you start to think if you're a good enough friend.  Have you made an effort?  Do you really wan to put pants on and go do stuff? I mean, the laundry, dishes and vacuuming is calling your name.  Or maybe that's the kids demanding juice boxes or screen time.  Hard to tell the difference these days.

I remember reading this blog post a few years ago and thinking about how much I agreed with the author.  Motherhood is a beautiful thing but it robs you of your friendships sometimes and you have to be willing to make an effort to maintain those relationships.  You have to make time for yourself, and your friends.  It's a balancing act, much like marriage and motherhood, or career life and home life. It's definitely something I'm working on.

The older I get the more I realize I need those friendships more than ever.  One day my kids will be grown and on their own.  It will be just my husband and me, together, alone, day in and day out.  We'll probably drive each other crazy with all that time on our hands. We have to make time together, of course, but it's also important to spend time apart.  Any relationship, partnership, friendship takes work, but they are so worth it!

How do you feel about freindships in your thirties?  Or forties?


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