In the Blink of an Eye

Today my oldest son, my first baby and the boy who made me a mom, turns 15 years old. It's a bittersweet day for me because it means that in between more than a decade of hugs, kisses, milestones, joys, fears, parenting accomplishments and fails, another year has passed by.

Just like that.  In the blink of an eye.

This is the part where I get emotional.  I feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  I only have three more summers with this kid.  Three years left to teach him about life and work and being a good human.  These three years hover over me like an expiration date.  

Better cram all the knowledge into his brain before it's too late, before he goes out into the world and realizes that adulthood isn't easy.

The thought of my child leaving my nest and following his own dreams frightens me.  I still see that seven pound, blue-eyed baby boy wrapped in a swaddling blanket the nurses placed into my arms.  I remember his tiny mouth stretched into a yawn, listening intently to my voice as I told him through joyful tears how happy I was and how long I waited for his arrival.

I understand now, how my own mother must have felt watching her children grow up.  She reminded me often to enjoy each day.
"The days are long but the years are short."  
No truer statement has been spoken.  I remember how the clock ticked slowly by when I was sleep deprived, barely able to get through a day of nursing and changing diapers and laundry.  Oh, the laundry!  

His first year came and went, and I begged time to slow down.  Please, don't let him grow up so fast.  Let him be a baby for a while longer.  

Year after year goes by and it feels faster than ever before. My newborn became a baby.  The baby became a toddler. The toddler went to preschool.  The preschooler became a big kid.  The big kid became a teenager.  And soon enough that teenager will become a grown man. One day that man will walk down an aisle to marry the love of his life, and his mama will eventually become a grandmother.

I'm not ready for the world to steal him away.  He's still my baby.  Forever and always.

Please, Time.  Slow down...

Happy Birthday, Dawson! You can stop growing up, now!


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